A quote has been making the rounds on Tumblr recently, from a WSJ interview with Geena Davis. Here's a big chunk of quote for you:
We raised some money, and we ended up doing the largest research study ever done on G-rated movies and television shows made for kids 11 and under. And the results were stunning.
What we found was that in G-rated movies, for every one female character, there were three male characters. If it was a group scene, it would change to five to one, male to female.
Of the female characters that existed, the majority are highly stereotyped and/or hypersexualized. To me, the most disturbing thing was that the female characters in G-rated movies wear the same amount of sexually revealing clothing as the female characters in R-rated movies.
And then we looked at aspirations and occupations and things like that. Pretty much the only aspiration for female characters was finding romance, whereas there are practically no male characters whose ultimate goal is finding romance. The No. 1 occupation was royalty. Nice gig, if you can get it. And we found that the majority of female characters in animated movies have a body type that can't exist in real life. So, the question you can think of from all this is: What message are we sending to kids?
I was never a princess. A lot of girls never were. We know; we can -see- the princesses, and we know we aren't like them. We don't wait around longing for romance and hoping to be rescued. We don't have the infinitely patient and relentlessly optimistic demeanor to sing to birds and rodents to do our chores for us. We aren't slender and pretty and graceful. If you take off our glasses and put us in pretty dresses, we still look like the same person; we aren't magically transformed into the beautiful girls we were all along.
So... if we aren't the princess, and we aren't the handsome prince (we have no interest in rescuing the princess either)--what role in the fable does that leave for us? The dragon. The beautiful, powerful, not-waiting-for-rescue dragon. The dragon, who steals the princess and... doesn't hold her captive, no. Eats her, more likely. And then when the prince comes to rescue her... eats the prince, as well.
That's not the Disney ending, though. In pretty much every version of that fable, we, the dragon girls, end up dead, and the pretty pretty princess gets her happily ever after ending. This might make us a little bitter. Which reinforces the anger of the dragon.
I'd much rather be the dragon anyway. Stupid princesses.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
I don't mean for this blog to be gender-exclusive. Of course, "gender" is a very complicated topic all by itself.
As I said in my introduction, I was spurred to start this blog by the survey result that most of the people who "choose" to be draconic, or to follow draconic paths, are female. Given the other aspects of that survey, I think it's safe to presume that when they say "are female" they mean "self-identify as female." I'm not talking about a person's physical body, necessarily. I know that it is possible for a person to have a different gender mentally, emotionally, and/or spiritually than the one of the body they were born into. Though this is still a difficult and complex topic, it is at least something that is become more widely recognized. Not understood; it's hard enough to understand for the people who are in that situation. And then, there is the broad spectrum of those of us--I include myself in this group--who are somewhere in between.
Cisgender is a term that has been coined to mean that a person's gender identity matches the behavior or role considered appropriate to their biological sex. Basically, it means that you're happy with whatever sex you were born with. It doesn't mean that you're a stereotypical woman or man; you might be, but that's not the point. The point is, you are content to be male or female, to match your physical body, and it's not something that you question or feel to be at all "wrong." If you fit this definition, you're cisgender. And I have to admit that I envy you.
My body is unambiguously female. I can disguise that to some extent, but unless I go to the deliberate effort of hiding it, there's pretty much no way that somebody will look at me and not immediately identify me as a female. I don't really -mind- being female. There are parts that I find deeply annoying, and a few that I'd like to change (I've already taken care of one problem area on my own), but in the absence of any kind of external influence, I would be reasonably content with being female.
The problem is that I don't live in a vacuum, or in a community of like-minded people who believe as I do that the fact that I'm physically female isn't that big a deal. I live in a world that is heavily invested in creating a huge, artificial, and potentially extremely toxic division between "males" and "females," and that over the course of my life an untold number of attempts have been made to punish, harass, control, harangue, and manipulate me into certain behaviors and beliefs because of the accident of my body's gender.
When I was a little girl--I remember this from grade school, though I don't know my exact age, I would estimate no more than twelve--I heard a story about the parents of a child who decided to raise their child without any indication as to the child's gender. They said the child did have an unambiguous physical gender; but they refused to tell anybody else what it was. The child's name was something like "Pat." They dressed the child in gender-neutral clothing, gave zie gender-neutral toys--I don't know what pronoun set they used to refer to their child, but I'll go with the "zie/zir" set because it's one I'm familiar with.
I remember reading the story with increasing excitement. This idea, I thought, was -awesome-! I wished my parents had done this! I wanted to meet these parents and this kid! I wanted more people to be doing this! Maybe, I thought, if this was something that was catching on... maybe I'd stop being taunted and harassed for being a "tomboy," maybe I could play with whatever toys I wanted to, climb trees and buildings, create my own miniature dolls and drive them around in race cars, a combination of pastimes that was so gender-confusing that most other kids I knew found it completely unacceptable.
And then I got to the end of the story, where it was summed up with the question: "Which do -you- think the child was, a boy or a girl?"
I was FURIOUS. That was COMPLETELY NOT THE POINT. That was, in fact, completely the -opposite- of the point. It was taking a wonderful idea and perverting it right back into the same screwed-up binary choice that was causing me all these problems in the first place!
I think I ended up losing my point here. That will probably happen fairly often in these posts, at least until I get the hang of writing sequential nonfiction again. But the point I wanted to make is that although this blog is titled "Female Body, Dragon Soul," coming from the perspective of somebody who is physically female and spurred by the fact that there are a lot more female dragon people than I'd realized, all genders are welcome here--including folks who like to check the box "other" or "none" or anything else.
As I said in my introduction, I was spurred to start this blog by the survey result that most of the people who "choose" to be draconic, or to follow draconic paths, are female. Given the other aspects of that survey, I think it's safe to presume that when they say "are female" they mean "self-identify as female." I'm not talking about a person's physical body, necessarily. I know that it is possible for a person to have a different gender mentally, emotionally, and/or spiritually than the one of the body they were born into. Though this is still a difficult and complex topic, it is at least something that is become more widely recognized. Not understood; it's hard enough to understand for the people who are in that situation. And then, there is the broad spectrum of those of us--I include myself in this group--who are somewhere in between.
Cisgender is a term that has been coined to mean that a person's gender identity matches the behavior or role considered appropriate to their biological sex. Basically, it means that you're happy with whatever sex you were born with. It doesn't mean that you're a stereotypical woman or man; you might be, but that's not the point. The point is, you are content to be male or female, to match your physical body, and it's not something that you question or feel to be at all "wrong." If you fit this definition, you're cisgender. And I have to admit that I envy you.
My body is unambiguously female. I can disguise that to some extent, but unless I go to the deliberate effort of hiding it, there's pretty much no way that somebody will look at me and not immediately identify me as a female. I don't really -mind- being female. There are parts that I find deeply annoying, and a few that I'd like to change (I've already taken care of one problem area on my own), but in the absence of any kind of external influence, I would be reasonably content with being female.
The problem is that I don't live in a vacuum, or in a community of like-minded people who believe as I do that the fact that I'm physically female isn't that big a deal. I live in a world that is heavily invested in creating a huge, artificial, and potentially extremely toxic division between "males" and "females," and that over the course of my life an untold number of attempts have been made to punish, harass, control, harangue, and manipulate me into certain behaviors and beliefs because of the accident of my body's gender.
When I was a little girl--I remember this from grade school, though I don't know my exact age, I would estimate no more than twelve--I heard a story about the parents of a child who decided to raise their child without any indication as to the child's gender. They said the child did have an unambiguous physical gender; but they refused to tell anybody else what it was. The child's name was something like "Pat." They dressed the child in gender-neutral clothing, gave zie gender-neutral toys--I don't know what pronoun set they used to refer to their child, but I'll go with the "zie/zir" set because it's one I'm familiar with.
I remember reading the story with increasing excitement. This idea, I thought, was -awesome-! I wished my parents had done this! I wanted to meet these parents and this kid! I wanted more people to be doing this! Maybe, I thought, if this was something that was catching on... maybe I'd stop being taunted and harassed for being a "tomboy," maybe I could play with whatever toys I wanted to, climb trees and buildings, create my own miniature dolls and drive them around in race cars, a combination of pastimes that was so gender-confusing that most other kids I knew found it completely unacceptable.
And then I got to the end of the story, where it was summed up with the question: "Which do -you- think the child was, a boy or a girl?"
I was FURIOUS. That was COMPLETELY NOT THE POINT. That was, in fact, completely the -opposite- of the point. It was taking a wonderful idea and perverting it right back into the same screwed-up binary choice that was causing me all these problems in the first place!
I think I ended up losing my point here. That will probably happen fairly often in these posts, at least until I get the hang of writing sequential nonfiction again. But the point I wanted to make is that although this blog is titled "Female Body, Dragon Soul," coming from the perspective of somebody who is physically female and spurred by the fact that there are a lot more female dragon people than I'd realized, all genders are welcome here--including folks who like to check the box "other" or "none" or anything else.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
a brief introduction
Someone on my Twitter feed posted a link to a furry survey. I took the survey, then went to the results of the previous survey. Fascinating reading, but the part that grabbed my attention was this single line, over halfway down the page: Finally, it seems that females are more likely to choose hybrids and dragons as their species than are males. Leaving aside several complex topics about furries, choices, and hybrids, evidently there are a lot more dragon-identifying females out there than I'd thought. And I admit that I'm surprised; I'd bought into the stereotype of dragons being perceived as RAWR POWERFUL MONSTARZ and therefore more attractive to males than females.
This blog is for me to talk about my draconity. I know that this is something that many people don't know about me, or don't know much about. I generally keep it quiet, for a variety of reasons. But now I have some things to say. Now I'm ready to come out of the therianthrope closet, declare my otherkin status, and write about my experiences.
I'm writing because over a decade ago, when I was first exposed to the internet, the very first thing I searched for was "dragons." And one of the first things I found was the Usenet group alt.fan.dragons. Within a matter of days I had figured out how to get onto Usenet and made my first post. I can trace my experiences with my dragon-self back to the single digits. It has affected my life in every way, on every level; it has shaped my choices, my perceptions, and my ambitions. Draconity is integral to who I am. In a way, I'm writing this blog as a letter to myself, having done that first search for "dragons." I'm letting my younger self know: You are not alone. It's possible to build a strong, secure, balanced life for yourself while retaining your draconity. It isn't necessarily "just your imagination" or "just a phase," and it doesn't necessarily mean that you're crazy. It could be--but there's also the possibility that it is a very real part of you that you will retain for the rest of your life.
If you do a Google image search for "dragon," you'll come up with a bewildering variety of images, including plenty of things that don't look like dragons at all. Draconity is like that. I can't say that I have answers that will work for you. What I can tell you are the answers that work for me. I can help you phrase the questions that only you can answer for yourself. I can show you where to look and give you other resources. Most importantly, I can keep you company.
There are a lot more of us with female bodies and dragon souls than I had realized. Welcome to my world. And, as always... if you have questions, ask them.
This blog is for me to talk about my draconity. I know that this is something that many people don't know about me, or don't know much about. I generally keep it quiet, for a variety of reasons. But now I have some things to say. Now I'm ready to come out of the therianthrope closet, declare my otherkin status, and write about my experiences.
I'm writing because over a decade ago, when I was first exposed to the internet, the very first thing I searched for was "dragons." And one of the first things I found was the Usenet group alt.fan.dragons. Within a matter of days I had figured out how to get onto Usenet and made my first post. I can trace my experiences with my dragon-self back to the single digits. It has affected my life in every way, on every level; it has shaped my choices, my perceptions, and my ambitions. Draconity is integral to who I am. In a way, I'm writing this blog as a letter to myself, having done that first search for "dragons." I'm letting my younger self know: You are not alone. It's possible to build a strong, secure, balanced life for yourself while retaining your draconity. It isn't necessarily "just your imagination" or "just a phase," and it doesn't necessarily mean that you're crazy. It could be--but there's also the possibility that it is a very real part of you that you will retain for the rest of your life.
If you do a Google image search for "dragon," you'll come up with a bewildering variety of images, including plenty of things that don't look like dragons at all. Draconity is like that. I can't say that I have answers that will work for you. What I can tell you are the answers that work for me. I can help you phrase the questions that only you can answer for yourself. I can show you where to look and give you other resources. Most importantly, I can keep you company.
There are a lot more of us with female bodies and dragon souls than I had realized. Welcome to my world. And, as always... if you have questions, ask them.
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